Archive for the ‘Beliefs’ Category

Lately I can feel God more than ever directing my path, pointing me to where I need to go, showing me the book I need to read, the person to talk to, the friend to do a little something for, giving me wisdom, strength, and love.  I’m so thankful for Him, he heals my heart and body more each day, sometimes the speed of it all is almost overwhelming, if I stop to think of it too long, yet I know it is just right, and just what I need.


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As I was out working on my garden, and pondering life, I was thinking about anger and forgiving.  My experience has taught me that the only way to heal and move on from something is to forgive.  But how do you get to a place of forgiveness?  I’ve written several articles on the steps of forgiveness, and how to forgive things that seem unforgivable, and I still stand behind the things I’ve said there.  But I want to explore the concept that you need to get angry, grieve, feel the hurt that you received before you can forgive.  In essence, getting angry allows you to forgive.

Yeah, you heard me right.  We do this so often in our everyday lives that we don’t even recognize that we do it, but we can’t forgive if we don’t feel we’ve been injured.  Yet when the bigger things come up, and we need to forgive, we try to deny our anger and hurt and instead to miraculously “forgive” without completely acknowledging to ourselves that we were hurt.  This just doesn’t work.  If a friend hit you with a baseball bat accidentally, you wouldn’t try to convince yourself it didn’t hurt now, would you?  Emotions are the same way.  It does no good to refuse to acknowledge that you’ve been hurt.  You have, you may wish you hadn’t been, but it doesn’t mean that you were not.  Instead, we need to recognize that we’ve been hurt, get angry, grieve if necessary, and then we can choose to forgive.  Sometimes this process may last 2 minutes, but in some situations, it may take years.  However if you don’t let yourself feel the pain, I promise you, you won’t be able to forgive, and if you can’t forgive, the wound will never fully heal.

Although it helps to understand why someone did something that hurt us, sometimes that information is not available or is not helpful.  In the end, it is our own pain, sadness, that we must face in order to make the choice to move on.

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Friday night I had an incredible spiritual experience.  I was praying and basking in the Light of God.   I saw / felt this bright light move through my body, starting at my feet and moving to my head.  It moved very slowly and as it moved I  felt an ever increasing joy building in me and at the same time huge weights being lifted.  I feel totally renewed now.  I believe many past emotions I have been struggling to let go of were cleaned away, I was very much ready to let go of them, but hadn’t seemed to be able to do it.  My goal now is to not allow myself to slip back into bad habits, but instead to keep this feeling of deep serenity, love, and trust, and to share that wonderful peace with others.

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Every year I set goals for the year, some are at the beginning of the year, some get added in as the year passes.  For the past several months I have been setting up within myself for a new goal.  This may sound a little odd, but some goals require much more determination than others.  This is one of those.  I’m calling this my “speaking my truth” goal.  Those who know me know that I am generally a quiet person, unless you are my family in which case you probably think I never shut up LOL…. anyways, I have always enjoyed listening to other people and would much rather listen than talk, which I think is okay, but I’m realizing I have gotten to the point that I really need to do more talking.  I need more friends in my life, and I need to be more verbally open.  Generally I will speak to anyone about pretty much anything, as long as I have something to say, I don’t have a lot of taboo topics, but at the same time, I rarely do talk to anyone about anything, in this is what I’m working to change.  Most importantly, I want to openly discuss my beliefs, the wonderful things God has done in my life, which I realize are beyond what many people have the opportunity to experience, and which I am so grateful for.  I want to open my spirit up and pour forth my truths.  I just need to figure out how to do that now.

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I am on the cusp of something major.  My spirit is singing, my heart is open and flooding my body, the excitement and energy are pouring through me.  Am I ready?  I will be when the time arrives.  The word I hear is healer.  Allowing God to heal others minds, emotions, and spirits through me.  An honor I am excited and intimidated to take, but one that fits all of the visions I have been having for several years. 

I have a vision, a vision of who I am.

I have a vision, a vision of women gathered together to support one another’s spiritual journeys.

I have a vision, a vision of a place women can gather together to rejuvinate, learn, grow closer to God, and return to their families brimming over with His Spirit. 

I have a vision, a vision of love, peace, joy, and healing.  Of seeing others healed in the way I myself have been healed.  Of seeing others freed in the way I have been freed.  Of being to others what others were for me.

I have  vision from God, I’m going to do it.  I know he will help me, I just need to have the courage to move forward.

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“I just breathe God in and hope, somehow to breathe God out again.”  Joan Chittister Called to Question

Is that not the perfect desire?  To breathe God in, fill ourselves with Him, until we are so full of Him that everything we say, do, and even “breathe”  is Him.  So that everything that comes out of us brings Him to others?

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I just posted, a few moments ago, a quote from Joan Chittister about prayer.  I just finished her chapter on prayer in her book  Called to Question.  In it she discusses how once we reach a certain point in our relationship with God, prayer often does not even include words, instead it becomes a time where we focus on God, and where learn about ourselves, and how to see and act in line with what God wants.  I believe this is true, although it is certainly not the only type of prayer I believe is real prayer.  I was writing my notes on the book, and found myself expounding on what I see as 3 types of prayer (I’m sure there are others, these were just the ones that came to mind).

–  Need Focused Prayer – This is probably the type of prayer that most people think of when they think of praying.  In this type of prayer we go to God with our requests, concerns, praises, joys, and sorrows.  We go asking for helping, looking for guidance and solutions.  This prayer is generally done in a quiet setting, involves us telling God all about whatever is on our mind, and HOPEFULLY listening for his answers, wisdom, and guidance.  These are important because they give us an opportunity to gain wisdom about the concerns of our mind and heart, and to gather God’s wisdom and desires on those particular issues. 

– Communicative Prayer – This is the type of prayer that can sometimes look to outsiders like we have lost our mind.  This type of prayer is the day to day communication with God as we go about our daily life.   It is the discussion we have with God in the car on the way shopping, or as we do the dishes, it may involve something important or may just be sharing our thoughts with God or listening to those pieces of revelation we get from His Spirit as we go through the day.  This is important because it keeps us constantly attuned to God and His will for us.

– Immersive Prayer – This I believe is more the type of prayer which Joan Chittister was speaking of.  This is the type of prayer where we immerse ourselves in God.  I’ve heard it referred to as becoming “one with God”.  This type of prayer often doesn’t even involve words, and some people might not even consider it prayer at all.  In these moments, we put ourselves in a place void of distractions and commune with God.  We become immersed in His presence.  These are often the moments when we receive major, life-altering revelations and visions (although we can receive such revelations and visions at anytime, at these moments we are often more open to them).  These are also the moments when we can feel ourselves being refreshed and renewed.  Our spirits feel as if they are One with the Heavenly Father.  These prayers are deeply spiritually satisifying,  and yet afterward leave us yearning for more.  They build in us a strong desire for more and more of God.  They consume our minds, renewing in them the desire to be like God, to see as He sees, to act as He desires, to love with His love.   This type of prayer is critical above all others, and is the type of prayer that we least often make time for, and that is not often taught.  Most people I know who pray in this way learned to do so only because of the yearnings of the heart and the guidance of God, few where actually told this type of prayer was even a possibility.

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