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Posts Tagged ‘Accepting ourselves and others’

My heart is so overwhelmed with all of the blessings I’ve had lately that I just had to take a moment to share with you the incredible things that have been happening.

A couple of months ago, I found a wonderful marketing instructor names Sandi Krakowski .  I was excited because I could immediately see that she could teach me the keys I had been missing to get my business really prospering.  On top of that, she’s a Christian with beliefs quite similar to my own, AND she is a homeschooling momma!  I figured if anyone could understand how busy I feel and how to balance it all, it would be her.

Little did I know how much this woman was going to change my life.  In fact I probably still only have a peak at how much she’s going to affect it, but what has happened already is incredible.  I’ve been listening to her products for more than a month now, and they have not only increased my marketing ability (which I am still really working on), but she has given me the key I’ve been looking for the last few years.  She’s helped me to figure out what I need to be doing .

For a few years I’ve had an idea that I need to be doing something, helping someone, but I really had no idea what to do with that.  I’ve considered a number of options, but none of them really seemed right.  I’ve prayed, searched, tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself I was just being crazy and that there is no way I could ever fidn the time to do any of this in my crazy life.  I saw no way to make it happen in the real world.

Sandi frequently says that the pain of not doing what we are supposed to do often becomes greater than the pain of stepping out into it.  That is exactly what I’ve been dealing with for the last few years.  It has been downright emotionally painful.  I’ve tried to ignore it, but this feeling that I’m not using the gifts God gave me has been a constant and has about driven me bonkers.  It wasn’t for lack of wanting to, but for lack of vision about what to do.

Now I am filled with vision.  God has taken the spark he’s been putting in my spirit for the last few years, and has birthed a concept in my that I won’t let go of.  He has shown me how to make this work, where it can go, and how much I can help people.  He has given me visions and dreams, and set me on fire.  I’m a little frightened about how I will do this, but I’ve conquered bigger things and I know I can do it with His help.  I have visions of coaching people through their troubles, of public speaking (yipes!) to groups and helping them move past their issues.  I’m so fascinated to see what this will grow into and so grateful for the huge opportunity this feels like.

The website I’ve started www.adivinewalk.com is the first step towards that.  I see it becoming so much more than it is, but I will have the patience to take it one step at a time as God directs me.

Those of you who know me off of the internet may see a real change in me.  I feel so light, like a huge weight has been lifted from me.  I honestly feel like crying in relief for what this means.

I know this is the right path.  This path uses the gifts God has given  me, it makes me feel whole and complete.  I can hardly wait to move forward in it and see what He has planned beyond what He has shown me.

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Sometimes I’m a chameleon, I can blend into a group and go almost unnoticed.  Sometimes, that’s a good thing.  Sometimes, I lose myself though too.

Since I’ve moved to Idaho, and actually, if I really reflect on it probably well before that, I have felt this sense of not fully knowing or understanding who I am.  I’ve always been rather introspective, but this is different, more of a lost feeling.  Perhaps it was working my entire life to become a teacher and then realizing that I was not happy doing that.  I’m sure that was part.  I’ve always had a tendency to mirror people, and the way I act around people tends to change depending on the group I am with.  I guess that is true of everyone, we all bring out different qualities in one another.

Anyways, the point of this post is not about feeling lost, but rather finding the core of who I am.

I’ve been searching on and off for that part of me for years.  This year it took on a different angle.  I started looking for my passions.  What am I passionate about?  Am I passionate about anything?  It’s taken the entire year, but I’ve finally realized what I’m passionate about.  I’ve actually known it all along, I just didn’t accept those as things people can be passionate about.  I do this to myself a lot.  My interests are eclectic, and the things I feel passionate about are unusual, but they are who I am, and what makes up me.

The interesting thing is that those of you reading this that know me well will probably not be surprised by these at all, because they are so core to me and who I am.   Of course it would be impossible to create an entire list of everything I’m passionate about, but some of the most important are:

– Helping people.  Anyway that I can, I love to help people.  Whether it’s a major project or a small cheer up, it makes my day.

– Teaching people about the power of forgiveness.  I keep this one under wraps a lot except with my very closest of friends, but it’s one I’d like to explore more of.

– Listening to people.  Whether it’s listening to people chatting with one another in the store, or listening intently to a friend with a problem who needs a loving ear.  I could listen to people all day long.

– Talking to people.  I love to talk, but I spent most of my childhood being teased about how much I talk, so I don’t say as much anymore.  I’m working at bringing this into a healthier place.

– Helping those who have survived abuses reclaim their lives and move forward.  I wish I got a chance to do this as much as I used to, I miss it, but it is very much at the core of me.

– Developing a real relationship with God, and helping other women learn to do the same, in their own ways.

– Understanding other people’s beliefs, why they are important, and what I can learn from them.

– Spending time with my family, and finding a way to do more of it and more peacefully.

– Loving people, helping them see how wonderful they really are.

Okay, that is just a few of them, but I think it covers the core.  So what do I do with these?  Most of them have been laying stagnant the last few years.  Now I need to find a way to make them a bigger part of my life, without driving myself crazy with more things to do.  Sandi Krakowski, the marketing genius says over and over that we should build businesses around our passions.  How on earth would I build a business around those?  Yes they tie together, but I can’t envision it.  Food for thought, perhaps in addition to this business I can start a business of helping some day.

I was just going to post this and I had another thought… my God given gifts tie in very closely with these skills to.  I know that I have a mission here, I just need to figure out what it is!

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I feel drawn, compelled even to find a way to reach out to abuse survivors.  It’s something I have often wanted to do, but as of late it has grown stronger and stronger.  I remember a time when I felt like I could barely go on, and would have been so grateful to speak to someone who had been there, moved through that, and developed a “normal” life.  I want to be that for women who are in that place now.  I want to show them that healing is possible, that you can come through it, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that with God’s help we can all heal.  I want to share my experiences so that others, not just abuse survivors, but anyone can understand that God is with is even in the darkest of times in our life, and He wants to help us grow, heal, and become who we are meant to be.

The only problem is that I have no idea how to start or where to start.  I know my story can help others heal.  I love to share my story, because I think it helps others better understand God.  I just need the place to start it all.

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I love living here.  I love the wonderful people we’ve met since we moved here, I love the waterfall, the snow, the library that actually gets used be real live people, living less than 2 hours from Yellowstone, and so much more.  But most of all, I love living in a community with people who don’t think it’s weird when you say God told you to do something or you feel like you are supposed to do xyz.  I love living in a place that is full of people with beliefs that run as deep as they do.

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I went through and browsed the first few chapters of “The Friendship Factor” again last night, this time with my commonplace book and pen in hand.  There are tons of great quotes and short snippets of stories in this book, and I just had to share a few.

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.  – Ben Johnson

… if you are willing to be open, there will be people who cannot keep from loving you.  Alan McGinnis

I think I should write that one on my hand so I see it all the time!  LOL    I don’t care of some people reject me, if I know I have others who love me.

Some of us go to great lengths to hide our humble origins, when honesty about them would disarm those around us and pull them into a more intimate connection. – Alan McGinnis

You can never genuinely know yourself except as an outcome of disclosing yourself to another.”  – Alan McGinnis

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.  – Marian Evans

Now that’s a true friendship.

Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody. – Ben Franklin

Imagine what the world would be like if we all did that?

The best potion of a good man’s life – His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. – William Wordsworth

… in affording privacy to children we are assuring them that their faith in themselves is justified. – unknown

… Our children are our most important guests, who enter our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while, and then leave to follow their own way.

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Our opinion of people depends less upon what we see in them than upon what they make us see in ourselves. – Sara Grand

I was just reading not that long ago in a book where they were talking about people in relationships with us acting as mirrors for ourselves, and how that can cause us to grow as individuals.  There’s no doubt in my mind that our views of people have a lot to do with what they show us about ourselves.  Those that share traits we like about ourselves are likely to be people we enjoy, those who share those things we don’t like tend to be a real struggle.

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My beautiful new bracelet arrived 🙂  It’s exactly what I was looking for.  If you haven’t heard or read the story of my bracelet,  about 2 weeks ago I started looking all over for a piece of jewelry to celebrate healing.  I searched and searched everywhere to find just the right thing  would represent everything I wanted it to represent, and here it is!!  I am so excited.

My Healing Bracelet

My Healing Bracelet

 Did I say how excited I am???   (Sorry about the lousy photo).  Here’s what the bracelet stands for:

–  The bracelet itself is in commemoration of 20 years since I first talked about my experiences as a child and 15 years since what I like to refer to as “The Great Healing”… if you’ve never heard my healing story, ask me sometime, it’s pretty cool.

– Blue – the blue is the color that represents child abuse awareness (their ribbon color), it is to remind me of where I have been, and what I have overcome with God’s help.

– Pearl –  The symbol of purity, spiritual growth, and all things beautiful inside of us.   A reminder not to keep the beautiful things locked inside where no one can see them.  A pearl is beautiful, but it can not be appreciated while it is hidden in the oyster.  It is also the symbol of Christ.

–  Silver – Silver symbolized the acceptance of struggle and growth through experience.  It reminds me that there is something good to be taken from every situation.

– The Strength Charm – reminds me that God has given me the strength to face anything and that I am a strong person.

– The Courage Charm  reminds me that I had the courage to face head on what most people avoid facing. 

Together the strength and courage remind me that I not only have had strength and courage in the past, but that those remain within me for any problem I might encounter.

– The Faith charm is to remind me that faith needs to be the center of everything.  Without faith I have none of the others, but with faith, I can do anything.

– The Ribbon dangly charm at the back (isn’t that cute!)  reminds me that through sharing the stories of our journeys with others, we share our strength, bring awareness, and help heal both ourselves and others.

 

Thank you to Melinda at http://www.mpdesignsjewelry.com/ for designing the perfect bracelet and making  a minor tweak to it for me!

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