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Posts Tagged ‘Boundaries’

I wrote a post the other day about trust.  I think it might have come across a little stronger than it was intended.  Please don’t think I don’t trust anyone, as I have a great deal of trsut in a number of people.  The problem is just that there is a part of me that was hurt very badly by a very close friend a number of years ago.  Since then, I have held back a part of myself from getting too close to people.  It hasn’t been intentional, but I realize I have been hiding parts of myself that I want to share, and I have been reluctant to make friends for the fear of being burned again.  Now, I really want to step out there again.  I have met so many wonderful women since I have moved here and seen so many people with incredible friendships, that I feel safe to do that again, mostly, but now I have to figure out how to break the bad habits I have gotten into.  How do I speak my truth, trust people to accept me as I am, not be upset about those who don’t like me (because let’s face it, there are always some people who just don’t click)?   Is it okay to just be the completely me, and say what I think and feel with people who don’t know me that well, or will I be crossing some of those unwritten boundaries that are out there? 

I have heard for so many years about boundaries.  The “problem” is that I tend to love people much faster than they love me, which I am totally okay with, but some people really do not like it when others are true and real and there.  At the same time, I look at those people I most respect, and that’s exactly how they are, they are just who they are.   That’s what I want to be again, just who I am.  I want to be able to sit quiet, listening, speaking when I have something to say.  I want to have heart to heart, deep discussions with friends and acquaintances, and skip a lot of the small talk.  I want to discuss God, and spirituality, fertility, and all of those other “taboo” topics and just let people see who I am, love them for who they are, and not feel like they will  judge me for not being like they are.

So the questions becomes, how do I get from here to there… or back to there… have I ever been there, I’m not sure…. I know I have been with some people, am I willing to risk being there with everyone?  If I do will I lose the friendships I’m forming, or will I make friendships because people will feel more connected with me?  I can handle losing the superficial friendships if it helps me make more genuine friendships, I’d make that trade in a second without even a second glance.  So, how do I do that?

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