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Posts Tagged ‘Quotes’

I went through and browsed the first few chapters of “The Friendship Factor” again last night, this time with my commonplace book and pen in hand.  There are tons of great quotes and short snippets of stories in this book, and I just had to share a few.

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice.  – Ben Johnson

… if you are willing to be open, there will be people who cannot keep from loving you.  Alan McGinnis

I think I should write that one on my hand so I see it all the time!  LOL    I don’t care of some people reject me, if I know I have others who love me.

Some of us go to great lengths to hide our humble origins, when honesty about them would disarm those around us and pull them into a more intimate connection. – Alan McGinnis

You can never genuinely know yourself except as an outcome of disclosing yourself to another.”  – Alan McGinnis

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.  – Marian Evans

Now that’s a true friendship.

Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everybody. – Ben Franklin

Imagine what the world would be like if we all did that?

The best potion of a good man’s life – His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. – William Wordsworth

… in affording privacy to children we are assuring them that their faith in themselves is justified. – unknown

… Our children are our most important guests, who enter our home, ask for careful attention, stay for a while, and then leave to follow their own way.

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Our opinion of people depends less upon what we see in them than upon what they make us see in ourselves. – Sara Grand

I was just reading not that long ago in a book where they were talking about people in relationships with us acting as mirrors for ourselves, and how that can cause us to grow as individuals.  There’s no doubt in my mind that our views of people have a lot to do with what they show us about ourselves.  Those that share traits we like about ourselves are likely to be people we enjoy, those who share those things we don’t like tend to be a real struggle.

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One of my favorite topics!  I am reading a book called The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis.  It’s a fabulous book, I’m almost done, but I may actually re-read it which I NEVER do.  I have lots of things to share from it, but I have to find them because I keep reading this book in the bath where I can’t write down all of the wonderful things in it!  Today though I was reading the section on forgiveness, and as you probably know… I can’t pass up a chance to talk about forgiveness 🙂  I truly believe that without forgiveness we can never truly have emotional healing or peace.  So anyways, here are a few ideas I wanted to share. (all quotes are from the above mentioned book unless otherwise noted)

One must be strong to forgive, for forgiveness is a very positive force.

The sad thing about hate on the other hand, is what it does to the hater…. Not only does bitterness slop out on those around us and corrode our relationships, it also eats away at our own souls.

Isn’t that true, the person who is always most damaged by our anger, hatred, and failure to forgive is us.  In fact we can often damage ourselves with the consequences of not forgiving long past the time that the other person has moved on.

A story from the book:

A friend of Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, once reminded her of an especially cruel thing that someone had done to her years before.  But Miss Barton seemed to not recall it.

“Don’t you remember it?” her friend asked.

“No, I distinctly remember forgetting it.”

I love this story.  She had clearly chosen to forgive and forget.  I don’t think forgetting is always an integral part of forgiving, at least not in the sense that many people think of, in fact I think in some cases forgetting might even be downright unhealthy.  Instead we need to not dwell on the hurts and anger, but move foward, making the choice to forgive.

Someone has said that we judge others for what they did and ourselves for what we inteded – we didn’t intend the error, or ithappened in a moment of stress, or we weren’t feeling right that day, or we’ll know better next time.  We tend to see ourselves not for our current behavior but for what we are striving to be, whereas we see others simply for their behavior…. To extend such understanding toward our intimates can do a great deal to build strong friendships.

I don’t know that most of us are that kind to ourselve either.  But wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if everyone could look at the intetion others had instead of how something might actually have come out?  I strive to do this, and it can be incredibly freeing.  Most of the time it is easy to see where someone is coming from, but sometimes I find myself with my jaw dropped trying to figure where on earth something came from… and what they were trying to say or mean.  Still, I think when everyone tries to think this way, it can be an incredible thing for everyone.

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In Quotey Mood

A few quotes for your enjoyment:

Just living is not enough.  One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.  ~Hans Christian Anderson

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”  ~Erma Bombeck

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.  ~Richard Bach

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
– Anais Nin

“A friend is one who walks in when others walk out”
-Walter Winchell

“Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.”
– Elbert Hubard



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I found some great quotes on forgiveness, one of my absolute favorite topics (well one of the about 100 favorites, but it’s near the top 🙂 

Lewis B. Smedes – Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve (Haven’t read the book, just found these great quotes:

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~Lewis B. Smedes

“We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die–for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness]

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

“…Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.”

“You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything…We don’t have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run.”

“When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.”

“If we say that monsters [people who do terrible evil] are beyond forgiving, we give them a power they should never have…they are given the power to keep their evil alive in the hearts of those who suffered most. We give them power to condemn their victims to live forever with the hurting memory of their painful pasts. We give the monsters the last word.”

All the years you have waited for them to “make it up to you” and all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing and gave pain from the past free rein to shape and even damage your life. And still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, not the people who hurt you. And you change yourself for yourself, for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, and bright future that you get.”

“Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside…The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children alone are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them.”

“Not even God can make something fair out of what is intrinsically unfair. Only one thing can be done. Something must break through the crust of unfairness and create a chance for a new fairness. Only forgiveness can make the breakthrough.”

“I worry about fast forgivers. They tend to forgive quickly in order to avoid their pain. Or they forgive fast in order to get an advantage over the people they forgive. And their instant forgiving only makes things worse…People who have been wronged badly and wounded deeply should give themselves time and space before they forgive…There is a right moment to forgive. We cannot predict it in advance; we can only get ourselves ready for it when it arrives…Don’t do it quickly, but don’t wait too long…If we wait too long to forgive, our rage settles in and claims squatter’s rights to our souls.”

“Forgive a wife-slammer if you can. But you don’t have to live with him. Forgive a husband who is abusing your children if you can. But only after you kick him out of the house. And if you can’t get him out, get help. It’s available. In the meantime, don’t let him near the kids, and don’t let anyone tell you that if you forgive him it means you have to stay with him. [There’s an important difference between forgiving a person and tolerating their bad behavior.]”

“Forgiving does not usually happen at once. It is a process, sometimes a long one, especially when it comes to wounds gouged deep. And we must expect some lapses…some people seem to manage to finish off forgiving in one swoop of the heart. But when they do, you can bet they are forgiving flesh wounds. Deeper cuts take more time and can use a second coat.”

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting…A wounded person cannot–indeed, should not–think that a faded memory can provide an expiation of the past. To forgive, one must remember the past, put it into perspective, and move beyond it. Without remembrance, no wound can be transcended.”

“Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope, a reorganization of thought, and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of experiences and used to create a new set of moral rules and a new interpretation of life’s events.”

“You can’t forgive what you refuse to remember, any more than you can seek treatment for a disease whose symptoms you have yet to notice.”  Carol Luebering – Finding A Way To Forgive (article, CareNotes)

” Forgiving is not something you do for someone else. It is not even something you do because you SHOULD, according to the standards of religious belief or human decency. Forgiving is something that you do for yourself. It is one way of becoming the person you were created to be–and fulfilling God’s dream of you is the only way to true wholeness and happiness. You NEED to forgive so that you can move forward with life. An unforgiven injury binds you to a time and place someone else has chosen; it holds you trapped in a past moment and in old feelings.”  Carol Luebering – Finding A Way To Forgive (article, CareNotes)

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A Quick Note:

I’ve said it many times, and I truly believe it.  Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have.  It opens our hearts to healing without forgiving it is hard for us to move forward with our lives, to heal, and be healed.  Forgiving can only come when we are ready we can not be pushed or forced to forgive, and trying to force another person to forgive will not help them at all.  True forgiving is a gift to ourselves, a gift to God and a gift from God all at once.  Without forgiveness we are forever locked in the past.

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Real Prayer

I’ve been reading “Called to Question” a spiritual memoir by Joan Chittister for a few days.  Last night I was reading a section about prayer and just had one of those moments that you read something and it says exactly what you think, but in a way more eloquent than you ever could.    This passage is so profound to me I will no doubt end up writing about it for days to come, in fact I want to meditate upon it, memorize it, make it part of me.

“I don’t pray,” people say to me.  And I say back, “Neither do I.  I just breath God in and hope somehow to learn how to breathe God out as well.”

The purpose of prayer is simply to transform us to the mind of God…. We go to prayer to be transfigured ourselves, to come to see the world as God sees the world, to practice the presence of God, to put on a heart of justice, of love, and of compassion for others.  We go to become new of soul.

Wow, that’s all I’m going to say in this post, because I want to give you a moment to think on it and digest it.  I hope you will love it as much as I do.

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A quick quote

” Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. ”
– Mary Catherwood

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